1) Never “use” your product, especially while conducting business and most especially when you are transporting it;
2) Package your dope intelligently, at least masking / hiding the scent from human detection;
3) Never place materials which identify you in the same package as your dope (most especially your driver license / photo ID);
4) If you get separated from your dope, then retrieve it ONLY if A) it is exactly where you left it, B) from afar (from a distance) it appears to you not to have been tampered with; and C) from afar (from a distance) there does not appear to be anyone waiting for your dumb ass self to try to collect it;
5) Never, ever, go to a different location and make a formal claim for lost property so as to recover your contraband.
If you do any of these things then you are officially a “Stupid Criminal”:
On Saturday, October 18th, 2014, 43 y/o Michael Henderson was arrested for possession with intent to distribute / sell (PWID / PWIS) both marijuana and psilocybin (hallucinogenic mushrooms). Apparently Michael had boarded an Intercity Transit Bus in Olympia, WA carrying a “large duffel bag” which contained marijuana, psilocybin a scale and ziplock baggies. Unfortunately for Michael, he had also placed his wallet, with multiple pieces of ID and a nice chunk of change ($440.00), inside of the tote. Worse still, Michael wound up exiting the bus and forgetting to take his bag off with him (I’m guessing that he was using, because its hard to believe that anyone could knowingly transport marijuana and psilocybin and simply have forgotten the bag full of it, along with their ID, unless s/he were stoned to the bejesus). If that’s not bad enough: Once he realized that he had left his bag on the bus Michael went to the Intercity Transit Lost and Found trying to claim his bag. And the icing: Video surveillance on the bus clearly showed Michael walk on with the subject bag and place it by his side when he sat down.
Naturally, Bill Smith, the bus driver, discovered the remaining duffel bag. While this normally would not be an issue it was in this case as, according to Bill, Michael’s bag reeked badly of marijuana. Per Bill: “…I couldn’t tell if the bag itself smelled like marijuana or if there’s something in it… But I didn’t want to find out”, so the driver called the cops and they make arrangements in the event that the owner of the bag was brainless enough to attempt to recover it, which, in this case, Michael Henderson proved to be.
After first denying that he knew of the existence of the contraband in his bag Michael ultimately fessed up, stating that “It was time for a change in my life”.
Memo to folks who are planning on dealing / transporting dope (** NOTE that I neither endorse nor recommend this, but still…): There are a few basic, common sense “rules” that you should follow:
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