Walmart is the “Home of Bizarre”, and in this case it does not fail to live up to its name… Meet 19 y/o Sean Johnson.  Yup, that’s him below….. and believe me, he’s got issues……. Scroll down to read more!

Meet 19 y/o Sean Johnson.  Yup, that’s him below….. and believe me, he’s got issues….
At about 3:00 pm yesterday (Tuesday, October 14th, 2014) Sean reportedly walked into the Brooksville, Florida Walmart, proceeded to take a stuffed horse off of a shelf, walked it on over to the bedding section (perhaps “cooing” the toy along the way) and then proceeded to use the stuffed animal to assist in masturbating (to a happy ending) right there amongst the linens. 

Once finished, young Sean returned the ejaculate-covered toy horse to a shelf and walked right out of Walmart as if nothing unusual had happened.  Sadly for Sean he was caught on surveillance cameras, permitting local law enforcement to easily locate and arrest him for indecent exposure in public and criminal mischief.

Memo # 1 to Sean Johnson:  Sex toys are fine and well, but they are not generally found in the kiddie section at Walmart.  That’s just plain creepy.  Try your local sex emporium instead.  Not only will you find actual, made-for-sex “sex toys” but, as a bonus, you might just also meet an interesting human or two as you peruse the aisles.

Memo # 2 to Sean Johnson:  This is what “horse sex” is supposed to look like.  Note the definite lack of human involvement.

Memo # 3 to Sean Johnson:   For years I have seen the “People of Walmart” pictures circulating, one creepier than the rest.  Critters from unimaginable walks of life walk the aisles regularly donning unconscionable outfits and never ceasing to amaze, but you…. you  my friend, you have managed to raise that bar.
You now face two 364 day sentences (which can be “stacked – or sun “consecutive” to one another), but your best mitigation is that A) no matter how revolting your behavior was, fortunately you didn’t hurt anyone (like some little kid who easily could have happened along right at the wrong moment), B) no amount of jail time can “fix” whatever is wrong with you and C) probation and Court Ordered therapy and treatment are the best possible remedies for your incredible lack of decency, judgment and behavioral issues.
Good luck kid.  You’re gonna need it.
Yes, Sean….

Established in 1991, Michael A. Haber, P.A. has an unblemished record of providing creative, effective and zealous representation to clients, primarily in South Florida, on a wide variety of criminal matters ranging from DUI to drug trafficking and from misdemeanors to first degree murder. 

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Michael A. Haber

At Michael A. Haber, P.A. "it's all about reasonable doubt"! Whether in State or Federal Courts, Michael A. Haber, P.A. strives to ensure that his client's rights are respected and that his clients receive top-tier legal representation and counsel. For more than a quarter of a century I have striven to make Michael A. Haber, P.A. a business that custom tailors its services to meet the needs of the client. This incorporates such things as (but is not limited to) doing my best to meet clients at their convenience (as opposed to mine), in locations and at times which are mutually convenient (sometimes at their homes, places of business, independent ground - having free wifi and excellent coffee any Dunkin Donuts always works for me - and occasionally even at odd hours), structuring fees to reasonably accommodate the parties, making myself personally available to the client as close to 24/7 as is possible and, perhaps most importantly, giving careful and comprehensive consideration to both micro and macro issues in a given case so as to be able to agree upon and effort toward a viable litigation objective. This is why I refer to Michael A. Haber, P.A. proudly providing "boutique criminal defense litigation" (being "a small company that offers highly specialized services"), and this is a large part of Michael A. Haber, P.A.'s mission statement Accordingly, Michael A. Haber, P.A. has provided personalized and boutique legal services to both individuals and entities, primarily in the South Florida area, since 1991. With no history of professional discipline whatsoever, Michael A. Haber, Esq. zealously advocates his client's interests and custom tailors his services to meet each client's particular situation, needs and desires. Toward that end Michael A. Haber, Esq. makes himself directly available to his clients whether in person, over the phone (305-381-8686 or Toll Free 1-888-SHARK-8-1), by cell, verbally or text (305-798-2220), by e-mail ([email protected]) on Facebook ( http://www.facebook.com/haberpa ), on Twittter, (@Sharkjy910) on AOL/IM (Sharky910), and also why I consistently add information to the public on both the Michael A. Haber, P.A. Criminal Michael A Haber PA Criminal DUI Defense Litigation Miami Blog (http://www.habercriminallaw.blogspot.com/) and with my "Webisode" series on YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/c/MichaelHaberLaw), whcih currently features 222 briegf VideoFAQ's on a variety of Criminal Defense, DUI and BUI related topics. When you hire Michael A. Haber, P.A. you get Michael A. Haber, Esq.! And remember, at HaberPA, it's all about reasonable doubt!
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