Visiting NY Street Performer Arrested after Wielding a Dildo at Miami Beach Police Officers during “Unfair Wealth Protest” on Art Basel Weekend. Meet Kalan Sherrad, yes that’s him below… Kalan is a NY based “street… Scroll down to read more!

Meet Kalan Sherrad, yes that’s him below…

Kalan is a NY based “street performer” who was in the 305 last week for the infamous Art Basel festivities.  

However, apart from crafting, displaying,  selling, viewing, buying or even appreciating “art”, Kalan was participating in a group of about 30 in a “protest against the wealthy” at the Miami Beach Convention Center.  As the group was being herded out of the building by MBPD officers ‘ole Kalan reached into his pants, removed a dildo and wielded it at an officer.  Kalan, dildo wielding douchebag that he apparently is, was arrested for disturbing the peace and resisting arrest (misdemeanor variety). Now, sadly, but like many before him, Kalan will likely….

Memo to the Folks:  When you are in a police-citizen encounter, no matter how right you think that you are or how wrong you think that the cops are (or how unfair you think the separation of wealth is or whatever happens to be bouncing about inside of your cranium) just freaking respect the authority of law enforcement to act in the moment and recognize that you will get your opportunity to react and even seek revenge if the same is in fact warranted.    Feel free to record the incident but err on the side of complying, shutting-up, eating crow, following directions, not acting in a threatening or defiant manner, not being either intellectually challenging or physically obstructive, and never, ever, brandishing a weapon, real or perceived (including a dildo), under any circumstances.


Recognize that whether consciously or as a matter of evolution and DNA everyone is always looking out for themselves, thus, especially in police-citizen encounters there is a built in paranoia factor.  If you are a cop then this means that the civilian whom you engage (solo, much less when in a group / mob) may well be a raging dildo wielding lunatic; and if you are a civilian then this means that the cop who engages you may well be a raging ‘roided out, fascist, power-tripping, violent, itching to maim another lunatic.  Whether any of this is accurate or not, sadly, the potential is there, and in any event the best thing for all to do is to appreciate the potential, tailor your own behavior accordingly and hope for the best.  (And, I’m seriously about this, if you can then record your police-citizen encounter from start to finish.  The reality of knowing that everything which is being said and done is being digitally preserved is perhaps the best control mechanism possible.) 

Established in 1991, Michael A. Haber, P.A. has an unblemished record of providing creative, effective and zealous representation to clients, primarily in South Florida, on a wide variety of criminal matters ranging from DUI to drug trafficking and from misdemeanors to first degree murder. 

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Michael A. Haber

At Michael A. Haber, P.A. "it's all about reasonable doubt"!Whether in State or Federal Courts, Michael A. Haber, P.A. strives to ensure that his client's rights are respected and that his clients receive top-tier legal representation and counsel.For more than a quarter of a century I have striven to make Michael A. Haber, P.A. a business that custom tailors its services to meet the needs of the client. This incorporates such things as (but is not limited to) doing my best to meet clients at their convenience (as opposed to mine), in locations and at times which are mutually convenient (sometimes at their homes, places of business, independent ground - having free wifi and excellent coffee any Dunkin Donuts always works for me - and occasionally even at odd hours), structuring fees to reasonably accommodate the parties, making myself personally available to the client as close to 24/7 as is possible and, perhaps most importantly, giving careful and comprehensive consideration to both micro and macro issues in a given case so as to be able to agree upon and effort toward a viable litigation objective. This is why I refer to Michael A. Haber, P.A. proudly providing "boutique criminal defense litigation" (being "a small company that offers highly specialized services"), and this is a large part of Michael A. Haber, P.A.'s mission statementAccordingly, Michael A. Haber, P.A. has provided personalized and boutique legal services to both individuals and entities, primarily in the South Florida area, since 1991. With no history of professional discipline whatsoever, Michael A. Haber, Esq. zealously advocates his client's interests and custom tailors his services to meet each client's particular situation, needs and desires.Toward that end Michael A. Haber, Esq. makes himself directly available to his clients whether in person, over the phone (305-381-8686 or Toll Free 1-888-SHARK-8-1), by cell, verbally or text (305-798-2220), by e-mail ([email protected]) on Facebook ( ), on Twittter, (@Sharkjy910) on AOL/IM (Sharky910), and also why I consistently add information to the public on both the Michael A. Haber, P.A. Criminal Michael A Haber PA Criminal DUI Defense Litigation Miami Blog ( and with my "Webisode" series on YouTube (, whcih currently features 222 briegf VideoFAQ's on a variety of Criminal Defense, DUI and BUI related topics.When you hire Michael A. Haber, P.A. you get Michael A. Haber, Esq.!And remember, at HaberPA, it's all about reasonable doubt!
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