Meet 18-year-old Stefan Sortland, a (likely former) Colorado State University student who was so banged up on Mollies and Cocaine after a Halloween party that he decided to hop into a running ambulance and head out on the road to Vail (while the EMT’s were indoors treating someone else).
Thanks to GPS tracking technology cops were able to catch up to both Stefan and the banged up ambulance, which officers said they found in the middle of the highway with several doors open, heavy front-end damage and fluid leaking (it appeared to the cops on scene that the driver of the ambulance had hit the raised median, jumped the curb, hit a sign, went the wrong way and crossed back over the median before stopping).
Officers said they found Stefan standing about 30 yards from the stopped ambulance wearing an EMT vest. When he refused their commands to show them his hands officers tased him. Stephan had a blanket, a cell phone and a box of Wheat Thins with him.
Stephan was taken to the Loveland Police Department where he “stood on a bench, kicked the wall, and masturbated,” (yes, you read that correctly) according to the police report. Not withstanding Stefan apologizing to the officers for his actions, shortly after, when he was in the booking area at the jail, Stefan then allegedly attacked two deputies who were bringing him lunch (he is accused of punching one deputy in the face causing a concussion and facial swelling, and a second deputy suffered an abrasion and a finger sprain during attempts to gain control of the drugged up freshman).
Stefan now faces charges of aggravated vehicle theft, obstructing EMS, reckless driving, hit-and-run, criminal mischief, attempted motor vehicle theft, unlawful possession of a controlled substance and criminal charges of assault for the jail incident.
The morals: 1) Mollies and Cocaine do not mix well; 2) Stick to pot – no one ever punched out a cop (or stole an ambulance while on an emergency call or masturbated at the police station) while under the influence of marijuana; 3) Have fun at college, and if you want to be an EMT then go the pre-med route, not the steal and ambulance and don a vest route.
Memo to Stefan:
Since 1991 Michael A. Haber, P.A. has an unblemished record of providing boutique criminal defense litigation services to many folks who have been accused of criminality.
Michael A. Haber, Esq. has creatively, effectively and zealously represented clients on a wide variety of criminal matters ranging from DUI to drug trafficking and from misdemeanors to first degree murder.
Michael A. Haber, Esq. is prepared to speak with you about your case! At Michael A. Haber, P.A. “its all about reasonable doubt”!
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Top notch, very skilled, and highly attentive. Mr. Haber is a fantastic criminal defense attorney. 
- Thanks again. You are second to none when it comes to defending your clients. For that, I thank you
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