Epic College FAIL! Colorado College Student Passes on Pot and Opts for Mollies and Cocaine…. Talk About a “Bad Trip”
Meet 18-year-old Stefan Sortland, a (likely former) Colorado State University student who was so banged up on Mollies and Cocaine after a Halloween party that he decided to hop into a running ambulance and head out on the road to Vail (while the EMT’s were indoors treating someone else).
Thanks to GPS tracking technology cops were able to catch up to both Stefan and the banged up ambulance, which officers said they found in the middle of the highway with several doors open, heavy front-end damage and fluid leaking (it appeared to the cops on scene that the driver of the ambulance had hit the raised median, jumped the curb, hit a sign, went the wrong way and crossed back over the median before stopping).
Officers said they found Stefan standing about 30 yards from the stopped ambulance wearing an EMT vest. When he refused their commands to show them his hands officers tased him. Stephan had a blanket, a cell phone and a box of Wheat Thins with him.
Stefan now faces charges of aggravated vehicle theft, obstructing EMS, reckless driving, hit-and-run, criminal mischief, attempted motor vehicle theft, unlawful possession of a controlled substance and criminal charges of assault for the jail incident.
The morals: 1) Mollies and Cocaine do not mix well; 2) Stick to pot – no one ever punched out a cop (or stole an ambulance while on an emergency call or masturbated at the police station) while under the influence of marijuana; 3) Have fun at college, and if you want to be an EMT then go the pre-med route, not the steal and ambulance and don a vest route.
Memo to Stefan:
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