Almost a year ago, in August, 2014, James Myers of West Chester, Pennsylvania was arrested on animal cruelty and drug charges when he was caught, parked in his car in the roadway abusing a ten (10) week old kitten. James (hereinafter referred to as “UDB” – meaning “Ultimate Douche Bag”) and the kitten (now named “Mephisto”) are pictured below….
At the time of the incident police rolled up on UDB and observed the following: A cat halfway under a car, with a choking rope around his neck, bleeding, missing teeth and in a state which clearly suggested that it had been injected with heroin (which supposition was logically based in large part upon the two dozen bags of heroin, fifty hypodermic needles and “hundreds” of used baggies containing trace evidence of heroin which were found on UDB and in UBD’s car). Further, the spray-painted message, ‘SLAM IT YOU PU$$Y’, was found next to the car where the cat was discovered…
Cops transported the abused kitten to a local veterinary office which determined that the cat had indeed been subjected to heroin. Although euthanasia was discussed the kitten was able to quickly recover after a local clinic treated him with “Narcan”, which is a drug that is used to combat human heroin overdoses and which the vets calculated would not negatively effect the kitten if heroin was not in fact present in it’s system.
Almost one year later UBD is in drug rehab, has – as of Wednesday, July 15th, 2015 – admitted to his crimes and faces sentencing theretofore on September 15th, 2015. In the same time Mephisto now has a permanent home with a veterinarian named Jennifer Magilton, who worked at the clinic that saved him but who now has her own practice. Per Jennifer: Even though her cat “has had bad experiences with humans, he is still very loving. Despite what he went through he loves people. He’s the type of cat, when you come home at night, he runs to come and greet you.” The cat was named “Hope” by rescuers but was renamed “Mephisto” by Jennifer for his “devilish antics.”
Per District Attorney Tom Hogan (at the time of the incident): “Every cat they say has nine (9) lives. This poor kitten at only ten (1) weeks old is down to only eight (8)… The kitten had clearly been choked. We can’t tell if the kitten was dragged by the car or if it was hung… This is a two (2) pound kitten that would fit in the palm of my hand. He {UBD} would take a kitten, a defenseless kitten, and torture it this way.” Per me: I am an animal person who has a particular love for cats so stories like this make me rage with a desire for medieval styled justice.
I don’t blame UBD’s lawyers for lobbing whatever sh*t they could muster at the fan in hopes of saving their client (claiming that he was trying to rescue a stray cat, which had apparently been abused by someone else, that he did not inject it with heroin and that was an addict who wanted and sought treatment and blaming everything on the drugs and nothing on UBD himself… Per Evan J. Kelly, UBD’s lawyer: “This is a tragic story about the effects that heroin has on good people and how it changes good people”), but, in my utopia: UDB is responsible for UBD’s actions (not the heroin that he chose to, er, dabble in) and for his choices he should be strapped down naked, covered in a thick layer of fish oil, sprinkled over with a generous amount of cat nip and then feral cats should be funneled in over a period of days to eat his sorry ass alive. Sadly there is no room for such poetic revenge in our system of justice, but still, I am entitled to my hopes and dreams…
Michael A. Haber, P.A.: Creative, effective and zealous criminal defense advocacy since 1991.
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THIS BLOG POST (AS ARE ALL OF HABERPA BLOG POSTS) IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT WHICH IS PRIMARILY DESIGNED, BY WAY OF REAL WORLD EXAMPLE, TO ASSIST THE GENERAL PUBLIC IN AVOIDING CONDUCT WHICH COULD FORESEEABLY RESULT IN ARREST AND PROSECUTION!
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Top notch, very skilled, and highly attentive. Mr. Haber is a fantastic criminal defense attorney. 
- Thanks again. You are second to none when it comes to defending your clients. For that, I thank you
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