Iowa Man is Arrested for DUI on Halloween while Wearing nothing but a Trench Coat and a “Fake Penis”, then tries to Foil Breathalyzer by Eating Toilet Paper but Ultimately Blows and has a .165… Scroll down to read more!

Meet 39 year old Ross McDonald of Iowa City, Iowa.  That’s his mug shot below…

Ross has inadvertently provided us with a trifurcated lesson:  1)  Not to drink and drive; 2) To dress for success; and 3) To stay the course after you have committed to a certain trajectory.

Lesson #1 ~ Don’t Drink and Drive:  Ross was stopped on Halloween evening after he was seen driving in the wrong direction at approximately 3:00 am.  He reportedly admitted to having consumed two (2) drinks, was “extremely confused”, could not tell officers “what bar he was coming from” (although he was wearing a “Studio 13” wristband), was observed to have had bloodshot eyes, slurred speech and unsteady balance and then reportedly took and failed roadside sobriety tests.


Lesson #2 ~ Dress for Success:  When officers approached Ross he was “only wearing a trench coat and a piece of cloth that looked like a penis”.

Lesson #3 ~ Stay the Course:  When they got Ross back to the police station and had him secured in the “OUI room” (a/k/a the inner-sanctum, small interior chamber which houses the omnipotent breathalyzer machine) he initially refused to provide a breath sample but them he “attempted to eat toilet paper, thinking it would mess with the DMT”, after which he decided to blow and blow he did… registering more than double the legal limit with a BAC of .165.

Making matters worse for Ross, because of his prior history of DUI and his being a convicted multiple repeat offender this DUI is a felony… which I suppose counts as Ross’s inadvertent lesson #4:

Memo to the Folks (recapping what we have learned via Ross McDonald):  1) Don’t drink and drive (especially if you have a history of drink driving); 2) Don’t wear your PIC (politically incorrect) Halloween costume while driving (instead, consider taking a moment to change into and out of it when you are at your destination)… in fact a good rule of thumb is to think ahead and don’t wear anything in public that you don’t want the world to see you wearing in your mug shot; 3) Unless you are confident that you are under the legal limit (which is always a tough call unless you’ve not been drinking, and in that event you open yourself up to a request for urine… which, for many, is taking things from bad to worse) don’t blow, but, if you are going to blow then a) don’t refuse and then change your mind and b) don’t think that you are not being observed in the interim… because you are) and finally, inadvertent #4) Time only moves in one direction so, without beating yourself up too much over things that you cannot change, be smart, learn your lessons and don’t repeat the same bad behavior / decision making that previously landed you in hot water .

When it comes to the subject of drinking and driving, the best advice that you are ever going to hear is:  “Don’t do it!  Get a DD (Designated Driver), not a DUI”.

Be smart{er than Ross A. McDonald}: Don’t drink and drive, but, if you do, just say “NO{thing}”, don’t blow (in FL your 2nd subsequent refusal is a crime) and call me stat at 305-381-8686, 305-798-2220 or 1-888-SHARK-8-1.

Michael A. Haber, P.A.: Providing creative, effective and zealous criminal defense litigation services primarily in SoFlo since 1991.

At Michael A. Haber, P.A. “Its all about reasonable doubt”! 

Michael A. Haber, Esq. is prepared to speak with you about your case!

Cell: 305-798-2220; Office: 305-381-8686; Toll Free: 1-888-SHARK-8-1


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Michael A. Haber

At Michael A. Haber, P.A. "it's all about reasonable doubt"! Whether in State or Federal Courts, Michael A. Haber, P.A. strives to ensure that his client's rights are respected and that his clients receive top-tier legal representation and counsel. For more than a quarter of a century I have striven to make Michael A. Haber, P.A. a business that custom tailors its services to meet the needs of the client. This incorporates such things as (but is not limited to) doing my best to meet clients at their convenience (as opposed to mine), in locations and at times which are mutually convenient (sometimes at their homes, places of business, independent ground - having free wifi and excellent coffee any Dunkin Donuts always works for me - and occasionally even at odd hours), structuring fees to reasonably accommodate the parties, making myself personally available to the client as close to 24/7 as is possible and, perhaps most importantly, giving careful and comprehensive consideration to both micro and macro issues in a given case so as to be able to agree upon and effort toward a viable litigation objective. This is why I refer to Michael A. Haber, P.A. proudly providing "boutique criminal defense litigation" (being "a small company that offers highly specialized services"), and this is a large part of Michael A. Haber, P.A.'s mission statement Accordingly, Michael A. Haber, P.A. has provided personalized and boutique legal services to both individuals and entities, primarily in the South Florida area, since 1991. With no history of professional discipline whatsoever, Michael A. Haber, Esq. zealously advocates his client's interests and custom tailors his services to meet each client's particular situation, needs and desires. Toward that end Michael A. Haber, Esq. makes himself directly available to his clients whether in person, over the phone (305-381-8686 or Toll Free 1-888-SHARK-8-1), by cell, verbally or text (305-798-2220), by e-mail ([email protected]) on Facebook ( ), on Twittter, (@Sharkjy910) on AOL/IM (Sharky910), and also why I consistently add information to the public on both the Michael A. Haber, P.A. Criminal Michael A Haber PA Criminal DUI Defense Litigation Miami Blog ( and with my "Webisode" series on YouTube (, whcih currently features 222 briegf VideoFAQ's on a variety of Criminal Defense, DUI and BUI related topics. When you hire Michael A. Haber, P.A. you get Michael A. Haber, Esq.! And remember, at HaberPA, it's all about reasonable doubt!
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