Strip Club FAIL! Drunk Customer is allegedly Punched in the Face 4 times by a Stripper after telling her that She need to Lose Weight ~ Call Michael A. Haber, Esq. @ 1-888-SHARK-8-1

This guy must be desperate for his 15 minutes of fame because he called the cops to report being battered by a stripper whom, due to his level of intoxication, he cannot even identify, and when the cops took his report he indicated that “he did not wish to pursue charges, stating that he wanted nothing done other than a report” (which you can see / print below or which you can link to by clicking here…).

Per Kyle he was physically bounced out of Derriere’s Gentlemen’s Club early Sunday, November 22nd, 2015 morning following an altercation with a dancer who allegedly reached off the stage and hit him four times in the face.

Kyle called the cops from his home at approximately 7:30 pm, the incident having occurred at approximately 1:45 am that same day.  Per Kyle the dancer in question was annoying him.  He said that he repeatedly asked her to leave him alone and after a while, in apparent desperation for solitude, he told her that “she should go to the gym and lose weight” (note that the only description of his attacker that Kyle was able to provide to the police was that she was “a white female, approximately 115-120 lbs, with long black hair and a muffin top”).

Kyle said that in direct response to his comment the dancer “reached off the stage and struck him 4 times in the face.”  He further claimed that bouncers used excessive force in removing him from the premises.  Still, some 17 hours after the fact Kyle maintained that “he did not wish to pursue charges, stating that he wanted nothing done other than a report”, and in so doing he admitted to officers that at the time of his alleged victimization “he would rate his own level of intoxication an 11 out of 10”, and for this I am formally calling Kyle out as the unequivocal douche bag of the week.

Apart from the fact that club representatives tell a different story (i.e. David Birch, the owner of the club for the last 15 years stated that Kyle – whom he referred to as a “moron” – was very drunk, had been at the club for more than three (3) hours at the time of the incident, had grabbed the nude woman in the crotch, was hit in response to groping the dancer, did not let go while he was being hit, was properly removed by bouncers and that, especially given the circumstances, they were anything but rough with him) here are my problems with Kyle’s tale of woe:  1)  By his own admission Kyle was sh*t-faced and drunk people a) are not good historians, b) do not exercise good judgment and c) tend to blame everyone but themselves for the situations that unfold during their period of intoxication; 2) By his own description the dancer weighed in at 115-120, so unless she was an Oompa-Loompa how badly did she need to lose weight and hit the gym; 3) Why did Kyle wait 17 hours to call the cops; 4) Why, after calling the cops and making his report, did Kyle not follow-through; and 5) I was not there and have no reason to believe one side versus the other but, at  the risk of judging a book by it’s cover, I just don’t find this guy’s story credible…