Meet 47 y/o Johnny Boggess of West Virginia. Yes, that is him below.
Johnny loves his pet beagle named “Piglet”. Scratch that. Johnny loves his pet beagle “Piglet” a little too much.
Johnny was arrested on October 22nd, 2014 for animal cruelty (and for some unGodly reason in WV this is a misdemeanor…) for having sexual relations with Piglet.
How did he get busted? One of his neighbors ratted him out (which begs the better question of how, exactly, Johnny’s neighbor knows that Johnny and Piglet were intimate), and the neighbor went on to opine that “He has done this before, with animals before,and its no shock”.
In the interim, apart above and beyond his failure to understand the laws of nature Johnny apparently also didn’t appreciate the laws of man, specifically the law surrounding Miranda v Arizona, as he did not STFU and instead made the fatal (“fatal” to his case / defense) mistake of engaging the cops in dialogue, pathetically and miserably efforting at explaining his, er, relationship, with Piglet.
Johnny reportedly (“reportedly”, meaning that this is what is in the police report, and therefore will A) be admissible and admitted into evidence against Johnny and B) will be sworn to by the police from now until the end of time) told the police that it was okay / acceptable for him to have had “gentle sexual intercourse” with Piglet as she weighs over 40 lbs and is spayed.
But Johnny didn’t stop there, no. Johnny told the cops that after they had “gentle sexual intercourse” he “petted the dog and told her that he loved her”.
Memo to Johnny:
Second memo to Johnny, and to the Folks as well:
Memo to West Virginia: Why is having sexual intercourse with a dog not a felony? Please explain this to me…
Michael A. Haber, P.A.: Creative, effective and zealous criminal defense advocacy since 1991.
At Michael A. Haber, P.A. “Its all about reasonable doubt”.
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